Welcome to my graphic livejournal! My real name is Ioana, but you can call me Nyx, Isis or Ziggy. I am sixteen and I study architecture. In my spare time I like to play in Photoshop and watch movies and tv shows (True Blood and Gossip Girl rock!)

I accept requests, so feel free to post and ask for whatever you want.

I post graphics, photos, videos and things that I usually like in this livejournal.

If you want to use my graphics please read the following rules and respect them, otherwise I will get really mad.

R U L E S
- Give me credit when using my graphics!
- Do not hotlink!
- Do not pass my graphics as being yours!
- Do not modify them in any shape or way without my written permission!
- Do not remove my tag from any of my graphics!
- Please comment before using anything posted in this livejournal!

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone
Cause ain't no sunshine when he leaves me alone...

And feeling your heartbeat would make me feel peaceful, would make my inner harmoniously coexist with my body. But the connections are broken, my ears don't hear you, my eyes don't see you, my skin doesn't feel you close, doesn't get your vibration.

When you came into my life you messed everything up. Your love filled me up with joy and hope, but the happiness lasted for days until it broke into piece. The memory remains as vivid as then. Your goodbye texts, your soft voice, your smile, your angelic look are everything I can remember clearly. And it's all that still matters after these years of intense denial.

I am somehow getting crazy. I stopped connecting things realistically, I just keep on dreaming as long as I walk. I tend to look around myself and think how it would all be with you by my side. The city suddenly bursts into colors, the music keeps on playing, my ears are deaf to it, but my eyes picture you there, looking at me, and as your smile is getting wider and wider, and as your arms open to let me in, reality breaks in.

I want to feel your heartbeat under my touch. My fingers trail an invisible path down on your shoulder. I meet my other hand carefully placed on your chest and we both sigh. Your breathe is heavy, your naked body throbs as my lips are slowly connecting to yours. I am finally there, in your arms and it feels like the best moment I have ever experienced in my entire life.

But the moment we start kissing, my eyes open, and there are the streets, the people worriedly hurrying up to work, the kids laughing and running around me, and I once again find myself standing, my eyes widened in pain that you are not here.

And ain't no sunshine when you're gone..and since you're gone for so long, ain't no sunshine anymore.

My heart is like a hotel room. From time to time you stop by. I'm tired of you leaving it, because I want you to move in. I want everything or nothing.

It does happen to everybody. I'm not the best person on Earth at all, I'm sometimes mean and I treat people bad, sometimes I do good things and help them, but on the whole I'm quite on the bad side. Maybe that's why I'm getting punished in a way that hurts a lot, maybe well, not the most, but still..it hurts.

I have been searching and trying to meet the right boy, the one that can share the same amount of feelings and respect, the one that I can be happy with more than a few weeks/months. When I think I found the right guy it turns out to be quite the opposite of 'right'.

I once fell in love for true, and was respected and loved back. Unfortunately for me, I was too young to realize that and I treated it all childishly. Now when I look back at those times I realize that I had no other chance than to let go, to get over, to continue living my life the normal way. He is now far away, still saying I'm the one who he'll never forget, but I don't know if that's one hundred percents true. I wish I were there, next to him, be the one to wake him up for school, be the one smiling at him in the morning, give him a kiss on the lips and then go together to classes. I wish I were the one to hold his hand, and treat him nicely, love him with all my human being.

Someone once told me I should follow my instinct and my heart, but how can I do that when all that it shouts to me is to go, take the first plane, cuddle him close and say the most sincere 'I love you!' in the world? I dream at nights, but it's easier said than done. I can't follow my instinct, not now at least. I want to be happy, I want him for all that he is, for everything that he still means to me. People worship Gods, and that's how I worship his memory, his face, his laugh, his jokes, everything that he is. My soul aches for that special affection, my heart cries and beats wildly in my day dreaming. I want you back, I want to know you still think about me, that you would accept me happily back into your arms if I follow my instinct that drives me straight to you. I lie myself thinking that I can find somebody here who I can really call 'my soul mate' because it is written somewhere within ourselves that we will always have that chemistry, that hard to destroy connection. It's an unbreakable bond, a bond I will never be able to stop hurting my heart. Because when two people are meant to be together, not even the passing of hours, weeks, months and years can erase that last bit of hope and love in ones heart.

My love becomes vivid once again, becomes stronger and willing, my mind is swirling around, giving me the strength to carry on, but also driving me into a state of confusion. Don't you ever stop thinking about me, not even when you meet a woman who's special and important to you, always remember that somewhere far away there will always be someone to love you sincerely. I will fade the love I have for you, I will, we are all human beings, but I will always share with love and cherish that I was once in love, and that I won't ever be able to take you out of my mind and my heart.

Don't stop dreaming, cuz when the time will come for us to meet again, I'll still be dreaming, and you'll still find the same lightning in my eyes, the same joy and comfort next to me!